One of the hardest aspects of “breaking” / changing any “addiction” or bad habit is how we “see” ourselves and how we think other’s see us. It’s had to take care of ourselves when we don’t feel like we deserve good things, that other’s think badly of us, which can be very debilitating, or that we’re just a failure and will never be able to change who we think we are or how we perceive others think of us.
I based my “worth” and how I saw myself on what I thought others thought about me. I wanted and needed approval at all cost – to be o.k. After many years and a lot of heartbreak – I have come to understand that if I can grasp that God loves me and accepts me for who I am and is willing to help me instead of condemn me, that I can learn to love me, with all my imperfections. It’s then that I can begin to take better care of myself and find happiness and acceptance for “me”.
We listen to all the old tapes we have programmed into our “being” – and what is worse is that we accept them! Then we add our own expectations of who we want to be – and see everything wrong with us which is “the icing on the cake” as the old saying goes. These voices only ensure us that we are setting ourselves up for failure instead of success. If we don’t have someone who “believes” in us or that sees the good in us and we don’t see it for ourselves – there’s nowhere to draw the courage and strength from to make the changes. Often we have people encouraging us but we can’t “hear” them or accept their positive input. It’s a known fact that if we are told good things and then one person comes along with something negative – we will focus on and accept the negative and often discard the positive.
It has to become a choice to rebuke, ignore, send away – however you want to term it, all the negative and “bad” that we perceive about ourselves so that we can move forward. If there are legitimate things that we need to look at about ourselves and make changes – then by all means plug that into the serenity prayers of changing what we can. Make the choice to correct the things you know about yourself that need to be done to help you walk down a different path.
However, the things that you have believed or chose to focus on, that are not helpful 
(and probably not really true) can be put on our list to not “feed” anymore. What we focus on becomes bigger and can take on a “life of its own”.
So we are back to the “self talk” or affirmations to speak over and to ourselves. Begin to replace the negative –
“I’ve had this habit and been addicted to cigarettes, eating the wrong food, etc. and I’m never going to be able to stop”
With
I can and now choose to see myself free from smoking.
I now choose to love my body and make it feel better by not overeating.
Reinforce and state ways to accomplish this such as:
I now choose to eat slowly and enjoy my food and find good things about myself.
I am a good person and I can and will make a difference in someone else’s life by ____________.
I will refuse to “feed” any negative thoughts about myself as I replace and embrace my bad feelings with being “my own” support person. I can do this! (fill in whatever it is you want to accomplish)
All of this may sound difficult and you won’t get it right every day or time you want to – but if you DON’T QUIT and keep plugging away at it little by little – the successes will begin to add up and the failures will begin to decrease.
I know because I walked this journey and some days I still have struggles that want to pull me back into old ways and behaviors – however, they are much father in between and fewer. They are now at a “manageable point” where most days I can actually say that I love me, I love my body and I love my life! I might not be happy with everything in my life or the choices some other’s are making that affect me – but I can choose to be o.k. with me, who I am and how I reaction to outside difficult circumstances.
It can and will be a hard road to travel sometimes – but worth the effect to learn to feeling good about yourself and that “you” are in control instead of being controlled by others choices or your addictions.
Be gentle with yourself and know you can do this!
Blessings!
I Can Do This Lifestyle 