At Christmas, and anytime there are Holidays and “events” that are meant to be “celebrations” and joyous, filled with love and laughter, there are stressors that we all have to maneuver through. Some emotions are good and exciting while others are very stressful and bring fear, anger, loneliness, frustration, reminders of loss and often feelings of anxiety along the way.
If we can “sort” through these feelings and are able to “categorize” them to fit them in the serenity prayer, we can begin to get a better “handle” on dealing with them.
We try to erase the bad and wish we could re-live the good that may not be available now. However, we need to find a way to “change” the way we look at or are able to let go of them so they can be placed in the category that “we can do nothing about” – except to maybe finally “lay them to rest” so we can move on to enjoy life the way it is or the way we want to create it to be.
One suggestions is to let the thoughts that bring pain and memories that are not happy could be placed into a “big jar” and “set up on the shelf”, with a sealed lid so that they don’t keep us in turmoil by living in regret or re-visiting past mistakes, loses and times that we wish we could either repeat or erase. It’s easy to say, ”let the past stay in the past”, but not as easy to let it be there. We can do this either symbolically or actually write out the things you want to let go of and put them in a jar, sealing it and refusing to bring it back out.
It is helpful if we can get alone and taking a few minutes to re-focus where we are and what it is we are struggling with:
Do we need to forgive someone and / or ourselves?
Do we need to let go of a past mistake we made or someone’s actions that affected us in a negative way?
Are we facing the “loss” of someone or something?
Are we dealing with things in our life that are consuming us and we feel hopeless and helpless about?
The first step is to be clear about what we are “dealing” with because you can’t change what you “don’t know”.
Once we can get a hold on what is bothering and / or controlling us, then we need to chose a way to deal with it. If it is debilitating enough that we can’t figure it out on our own, seek out a trusted friend, pastor, counselor, support group, someone that we can find to help us work through what is nagging at us to the point it is interrupting our lives, joy and inner peace.
If we can find a way to deal with it on our own, the key is to make it something that you can relate to in a way that works for you – not necessarily what someone else does or suggest – make it personal. Find a way to make it something that can bring you at peace with “the situation” and thus find peace within.
I will list a few examples and you can then adapt something that you might be able to use for your issue.
- See your “problem” flying away with the clouds that are moving far out of sight.
- Write the situation down on a piece of paper, wad it up and burn it, seeing what was holding you hostage go up in the flames with the paper
- Visualize yourself getting into a hot air balloon and floating away from whatever the situation is that you want to get “away” from.
- Ask, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, a angel, to be there with you as you re-visit the incident and then sit and be open to what they “see” or how they can bring healing to what happened. This may sound “weird” or you may feel that you cannot “connect” to a spiritual being or aspect in your life – however, if you do have an awareness of and are open to them, this is a very powerful way of “clearing” things in our past. If we can realize that even though there was something “bad” that did happen to us, during the situation we were not alone, we were being protected or if we were harmed, there was someone there that did care and sat with us through the difficult time – it can be life changing. I know this may sound really “out there” but if you ask God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit to help you with this and believe in them and their love for you – this can clear things in a way nothing else will.
- Find a scripture or saying that brings you back into the present that you can write down and post somewhere you will “see” it in your daily routine, memorize and repeat often, especially when your mind goes to the “negative side”.
Examples are: I can do all things with God’s help, who strengthens me.
When I cannot do it on my own, he will carry me through what I need to do.
I am blessed and God loves and cares about me, so I am safe and free to move forward and find joy in my life.
Speak what you want or need in your life as if it is a part of the present, even when you can’t “see” or “feel” it at the moment you are stating it.
What we focus on, we give power to – both positive and negative. That is why we are told to “renew” our mind, changing our thoughts from negative to positive things.
As you re-focus what you want and all the things you have in your life to be thankful for – you move into the part of the serenity prayer that states to change the things we can. It is possible to “talk yourself back down off the high-wire” when we focus on good and positive things and refuse to continue to allow the “voices” of negative feelings and emotions to affect or “control” us in any way.
As we focus what we can do and keep our eyes on where we want to be instead of where we were or that we are “stuck” in a place we don’t want to be, it can and will change our lives one moment at a time – which leads to one hour at a time and then one day at a time and then on into the future. Always keep in mind that just like a baby learning to walk, we will fall and have to get back up many times before we arrive at the place we can “run” in a new race that we will actually enjoy.
I know that these changes are possible because I have used them throughout the years and grew from being controlled by things around me, to being able to stay with an inner joy despite the storms that are raging around me. The more you do it, the easier it gets – it becomes a habit and your “default” to deal with things.
Blessings as you join me in the possibilities of learning to love ourselves and our lives.
I Can Do This Lifestyle 