As you continue to change the way you think by what you say, begin to appreciate and celebrate who you are in a way that can let you start to “like” yourself so you can move to the level of being able to “love yourself”.
When you can care more about taking care of your own body and way of thinking as opposed to needing the approval and acceptance of other’s – you are on the way to healing your inner being and living a life you can “control” instead of feeling controlled by the outside world and all the “comments” and rejections from others. It’s not a self-centered world where you’re more important than others to make yourself feel good as you put others down to build yourself up. It is learning to accept who you are and all your wonderful aspects while you see the good and wonderful strengths in others as well. Not valuing yourself more than them or them and their opinion more than you and yours. It is a balance and equality with the final decision for yourself is “yours” because you care about you.
Being at the mercy of and needing the acceptance of others to “be o.k.” is simply being a “puppet on a string”, continually doing to please and gain what we hope is love and the acknowledgement we all crave and need from others. The thing we have to realize is that no one will ever give us all the love and acceptance that we want. We will always fall short of being everything to someone or having someone be everything we want them to be. The beauty is in the balance. I am allowed to be me and the way God designed and made me while I will allow you to be who you are and the way God designed you to be. If you do not hold the same values that I do and we cannot agree to disagree, then this is probably not a healthy relationship to continue to be in. Trying to control others thoughts, actions and ways of doing things or being controlled by others expectations only makes both of us miserable and it’s a very unhealthy place to be. I should know – I was the queen of needing approval at all cost to be o.k. with me. Always needing someone’s o.k. and acceptance to be happy and feel like I was worth something and lovable was a very limiting and defeating place to be personally. I was not free to grow and be all that God made me to be and do
I cannot or will not ever be able to be everything others want me to be and others will never be exactly how I want them to be all the time as well. When we can celebrate and embrace who we are and who they are and acknowledge God gave us each things that are our strengths and we all have our weaknesses, then we can lower the need for everything to be “perfect” or the way we want or think they should be. Each of us come from a different set of circumstances and so we all see the world in a lot of difference ways, colors and avenues. Learn from your differences but stay true to how you are deep within in the special way God made you and turn to Him for His acceptance instead of other’s in our lives and we will find we can be much happier on every level.
This isn’t an easy thing to do and will not be accomplished overnight but as we continue each day to focus on the positive and let the negative go, as much as is healthy and possible, then life will begin to shift into another avenue.
Phases come and go in our life as well. What we needed to do and accomplish in our 20’s will not be or look the same in our 50’s. Our goals and needs change throughout our lives and so does the expectation that God has for us to do and be. As we grow and mature and become more settled, we need to reach out to others with a helping hand and less judgment. Each day can be faced as a challenge or an adventure and opportunity to learn and grow in the way God would like to help us do. When you can keep your eyes focused on your goals, your inner most desires and your connection to God and let other’s influence not affect us, we will find peace and be able to continue on a path that God has for us that is better than we could ever imagine.
Blessings as you have the courage to let go of other’s expectations and your expectations of others that is not good and healthy – ones that keep you bound in discomfort and unhappiness. It takes courage to face the truth about yourself and others, the good and the ‘bad” but He will give us the strength to see and then do what we need to do when we ask and learn to trust ourselves – to really hear and love ourselves whether other’s do or not. Just always remember that God loves us where we are, how we are and instead of condemning us, He wants to help us move out of it and into a better space.
I Can Do This Lifestyle 