Addiction comes in many forms and the underlying cause may manifest in many different ways. It does not matter as much what we turn to that we “choose” to help us deal with the issues “behind” them, but having the courage to look at what is triggering our choice to “go to something to help us cope” which then most of the time becomes a habit that often turns into an addiction. Food is one of the most common (and acceptable by society) to use. And yes eating can be an addiction when you’re making bad choices and over, or even under eating. My biggest “addiction” was approval, unfortunately almost at any cost sometimes and I turned to food to help myself deal with it. I remember when I understood that I knew I wasn’t hungry and didn’t feel good after I over ate or ate food that wasn’t healthy for me, but that I was trying to fill an emotional need of acceptance by “rewarding” myself with a favorite food. Shopping to “give” yourself something or anything else you use to try to “fill” your emptiness and prove you “matter” becomes a “control” that is hard to break free of – or otherwise known as an addition.
Counselors for addiction almost always want to “look” at things that happened in ones childhood or in that past that lead to the addiction. However, despite what happened to us, I feel like what I had to look at more than that, was what it led me to “believe” about myself. We most often accept a negative image of ourselves, feeling like we did something wrong to be rejected or treated badly – whether that be the case or not. Rejection, broken relationships, death, hurt and pain both physically and emotionally will lead us to lack of self esteem. When we find ourselves “not good enough” we turn to something to try and fill that void and “hole” in our heart and our lives that only God can fill. Unfortunately we have a hard time connecting with Him and understanding, or the ability to accept that God really cares about us and that we matter to him. He wants us to love ourselves and be able to receive His love, however we are seldom able to do this by ourselves, especially when we are in the middle of hurt and pain.
Once the substance we use to try to fill the hurt and rejection takes hold of us, we become numb to be able to think clearly enough to find our way back out of this negative mindset. It becomes a battle that most of the time we lose and surrender to out of despair and unbelief in ourselves and our worth.
The bottom line to all of this is that we have to address our “mental” decisions along with our choices to really be able to make changes on purpose, instead of out of an emotional reaction. This is where the “self-talk” and affirmations play a huge role in our success to change our habits. The other half is learning the “tricks / procedures” that work for us individually to change our habits we automatically turn to.
When you recognize that you are sliding into the pull to head into your negative mindset is when you have to make the choice to turn to your affirmations and your list of choices to divert your actions to some positive ones instead of sliding “sideways”.
For example, when I find I am letting something really get to me, such as missing someone or something in my life, I now recognized it, own it and put in to play my ways to deal with it. When I’m feeling sad instead of heading for the entire bag / batch of cookies, I make sure I buy the smallest package possible and not the “family / economically cheaper size” or if I’ve made one of my favorite cookies, I start sharing them with others, giving them away before I can eat the entire batch. It does work, because trust me you really feel crummy physically and emotionally after you eat the whole package, go get your alcohol or drug of choice – it’s all the same concept that keeps you from moving forward to get free from your “addiction”.
A Way Out that I found works for me:
- I think the most important thing to do is become aware of your emotions and triggers that send you sideways.
- Then change the “direction” of your thought process by pressing the Stop button, beginning with affirmations such as “I am loved by God, I am o.k. and choose to take care of my body and mind”. I can and will find my way, being thankful that I no longer choose to overeat, get a drink, etc. I now make good, healthy choices.
- I pull out a pre-chosen or explore options to go down the path of better choices and willfully engage them. It can be as simple as eating an apple instead of a bag of chips or at least share your bag of chips with someone so you only eat half a bag.
- I acknowledge and find success one step at a time, celebrating each victory to break the habits and mindset that is not who I am or what I want to do anymore.
It can feel like a struggle and you will have days of failure, however, the most important aspect is to just get back up “on the bike” and head down the road to success letting the “failure” have no hold over you – it’s just an “oh well – you’ll have that” but I also know and embrace that I do and will have lots of days filled with success.
Be gentle on yourself and soon you’ll realize those new habits are taking hold and you are seeing and feeling positive changes in your life. If I can overcome years of struggle to where it just coming naturally now – I know you can too – one day at a time.
I Can Do This Lifestyle 